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Danny Sapsford surely hasn't faced such fierce ground strokes since he battled Pete Sampras on Wimbledon Centre Court 15 years ago.

But then, as yet another of my forehands slams into the net, I accept that Pistol Pete may have shown a little more fight. Danny has been a leading man of British tennis in recent years, a former Davis Cup player and British national coach.

Today, we're on a sweltering court in Cyprus, where he is trying to get me to stand on the correct foot when I hit the ball at a run ('Preparation, foundation, swing' is the mantra I'm failing to follow).

Chic: The Aphrodite Hills resort's central feature is two large pools or head to its two private beaches

This is the Annabel Croft Tennis Academy at the Aphrodite Hills resort in Cyprus and the place is buzzing with coaches leading crocodiles of kids around the other courts.

The numerous villas for rent that make up the resort sprawl across a valley rising sharply from the sea to the east of Paphos.

It's close to the Rock of Aphrodite, where the goddess of love is said to have emerged from the waves, and where, legend has it, you can secure eternal youth if you swim around the rock three times.

If that doesn't work, there's always the anti-ageing treatments in the resort spa.

The heart of the place is an InterContinental hotel — chic, smart and set in acres of mature grounds.

Its central feature is two large pools, both surrounded by sun loungers.

We're not big on crowds on hols, so for a change of scene as the days pass we hop off to explore the hotel's two private beaches.

The larger is 15 minutes by minibus down the motorway, with a pleasing touch of St Tropez chic and, crucially for the children  — boy, ten, girl, seven — plenty of room for a Frisbee. The other is a more intimate cove across the road from the resort.

The most important thing for any parent at a holiday hotel is not the spa or the fine dining, it's the kids' club. And this one is a cracker.

Safe, spacious and fun, it has giant trampolines and water slides outside, a football court and huge playground next door.

Once the children are checked in, it's time to collapse by the pool and listen to Test Match Special. Bliss.

Aphrodite's Rock: Legend has it, you can secure eternal youth if you swim around the rock three times

The pool team is on hand with chilled face towels and plenty of thirst-quenchers, though if you're not on an all-inclusive package the costs will rack up, with two sparkling waters and a Sprite at the pool bar costing 9 euros.

And half board doesn't include drinks even at meals. Lunches and drinks for four of us cost 700 euros (nearly £600) for ten nights.

Most of the restaurants are in the Village Square, the social hub of the hotel where pungent rosemary bushes scent the sea breezes.

The big attraction for our children is a chess board with pieces about a foot-and-a-half high.
There are concerts by the square every night, ranging from an excellent fire-juggling street dancing troupe to an Eighties tribute act which only narrowly lost out in the worst show category to the Michael Jackson impersonator.

And forget losing weight — here, the 5:2 diet means five chunks of kebab meat for every two lumps of feta cheese. A Greek feast is no preparation for two hours on a tennis court, as I discover when I wheeze through my lessons.

Pistol Pete Sampras may look like a Greek god, but I bet he never ate half his bodyweight in stuffed vine leaves the night before a match. Perhaps if he did, I'd give him a run for his money.

Travel Facts
A week's stay in June or July with Western & Oriental (0207 666 1234, westernoriental.com) starts at £1,435 per adult and £285 per child — based on a family of four sharing two interconnecting deluxe rooms at the InterContinental Aphrodite Hills Hotel in Cyprus, B&B. Price includes private transfers and return flights to Paphos. Book by May 31 and receive a free upgrade from B&B to half board.