Cambridge lads' hilarious video shows missing toilet, broken lights and swimming pool filled with green slime at 'four-star hotel' in Cyprus
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Faced with deplorable conditions at a 'horrendous' hotel in Cyprus, two lads from Cambridge tried to make the most of it by creating a hilarious video diary for their friends back home.
The three-and-a-half minute video, titled 'Never letting him book a hotel again', offers a glimpse into every traveller's nightmare – dirty rooms, antiquated or broken amenities and a swimming pool no one would dare to enter.
With scenes reminiscent of The Inbetweeners films, the video was created by Patrick Miller and his friend, Damien, who stayed at the family-run hotel last week when they travelled to the Mediterranean island for a friend's wedding.
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Patrick Miller, from Cambridge, 'swims' in the shallow end of the pool, which doesn't have any water
The deep end of the swimming pool at the hotel was filled with green sludge, dead insects and debris
Patrick Miller, a self-employed personal trainer, created the amusing video with friend Damien Rigden
Patrick said in the video, which has thousands of views on Facebook and YouTube, that he allowed Damien to book the room, and they thought they would be staying at a four-star hotel for three nights.
But it didn't live up to its billing and it didn't match the photos they saw online, as the pair were shocked to find conditions that could have made it one of the worst holidays ever.
At the start of the tongue-in-cheek video, Patrick tells the camera: 'I left all the planning to him.
'He booked the accommodation and flights. He told me it was a four-star hotel, I was chuffed, and this little video's going to show you how it panned out.'
Patrick's friend, Damien, stands under an outdoor shower, which no longer works, near the swimming pool
This screen grab from the pair's video shows the hot tub filled with stagnant water and dead flies
The pair explored the hotel, including bathrooms with exposed pipes or missing toilets, in the video
It shows the pair looking annoyed during a flight delay at the airport before they were 'squashed' on the plane with very little legroom.
Things got worse at the hotel, where they found an unstaffed and empty bar, and a disgusting scene inside the outdoor swimming pool.
Patrick, wearing his swimming trunks, decides to get a closer look at he climbs down the rickety ladder.
The self-employed personal trainer says: 'I might go for a quick dip. Don't mind if I do. It's lovely in here'.
Patrick Miller stands in uncut, waist-high grass on the grounds of the 'four-star' hotel in Cyprus
The lads' hotel room overlooked a dirty car park, where a lorry was abandoned, and a busy road
The camera then pans to show him 'swimming' on the floor of the shallow end of the pool, which has no water.
It then pans even further to the deep end, which is filled with green sludge, dead insects and debris.
They find the same problems when Patrick checks out the hot tub.
He sarcastically tells Damien: 'Oh, ledge, I fancy a Jacuzzi before we play tennis. Oh no, I think there's a fly in the water.'
Later scenes show a tennis court without the net strung up, an outdoor shower that doesn't work, a depressing hotel room view of a dirt car park with an abandoned lorry, paint peeling off the walls, and lights that don't work or fittings that are missing altogether.
At one point in the video Patrick Miller stands on the dilapidated tennis court with no nets strung up
The hotel's grounds were a fiasco, with overgrown grass and trees and dead flowers
The grounds are a fiasco, with overgrown waist-high grass and trees, dead flowers and downed tree branches.
In the end, Patrick said, the holidaymakers got what they paid for from their £15-a-night hotel room, which looked perfect online.
He added: 'But when the taxi driver dropped us off there were no lights on at the hotel and no one at reception, so we were a bit scared and wondered what we had come to.
The pair stayed at the hotel while they attended a friend's wedding on the Mediterranean island
Patrick said the staff were friendly but they spoke very little English, 'so it was a struggle' to communicate
'Our room wasn't too bad, the sheets were clean and there was hot water, but when we looked in another bathroom there wasn't even a toilet.'
He said the hotel was 'horrendous', but they decided to stay as it was just for a couple of days.
'Outside it was like a ghost town, there was no one about and no atmosphere. The staff were friendly but couldn't speak much English so it was a struggle.
'We tried to point out the problems but they couldn't really understand. We decided to just get on with it and make the best of it.'
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